Domestic violence doesn't discriminate.

It's done from men to women and women to men.

Excuses are made to stay in these relationships. Leaving can be difficult and sometimes actually dangerous to the one who needs to leave.

A person's upbringing is not to blame. I was discussing this last weekend. Conversation was happening.

The person said to me: "Well, I guess he just grew up that way."

Once a person reaches 18, their behaviors legally become their decisions, their own choices.

My response: "He's been over 18 for 25 years. At some point during that 25 years, he could have chosen differently. How we were raised is one thing. When you become an adult, those 'behaviors' become a choice, especially after they've received help and have been educated."

The gentleman I was speaking to did not have a reply.

It wasn't until I had spent some time in a domestic violence shelter long, long ago, that I was taught this.

Here's something that used to be called "The Wheel of Violence." Guess now it's called "The Power and Control Wheel."

Personal note: I don't ever remember seeing the phrase "male privilege" on this back in the day. Bugs me a little bit though.


Domestic Violence doesn't discriminate. Goes both ways. In fact, you could easily substitute pronouns on this chart to make it reflect more accurately. He for she. Him for her, etc... and it still makes it true.

If you or anyone you know is experiencing domestic violence, needs help, etc..., here's the national hotline:   1-800-799-7233

If you're safe and or you'd like to help your friend, you can learn how to make most dirtbags (regardless of their pronouns) leave you alone.

Get the keys to justice: